Margaret called me petty? That’s like saying Kim Kardashian shies away from the spotlight. So, I did what any self-respecting diva would do – I dramatically sashayed out of the restaurant, giving up Don Vie’s chicken marsala that I’ve dreamt about more than my ex. Remember, when life gives you lemons, aim for the eyes when you squeeze the lemons!
Imagine this: Galantine’s Day, our pink-clad tribute to friendship, because red is so Valentine’s Day cliché. Trying to get my squad to stick to a color theme is tougher than teaching a cat quantum physics. Every year, it’s the same fashion rodeo.
Dressed in my Zappos sale haul, including not one, not two, but three Coach slingbacks (always be prepared for a clubbing emergency), in Bethenney’s car. I was ready. But here comes Margaret in mauve. Mauve, people! That’s like calling a zebra a fancy horse. It’s not pink; it’s diet purple! So, I took a stand against her color rebellion. She really thinks she’s all that since snagging a millionaire YouTuber. Huh! I remember her ‘BOGO days at Payless.
Off I went to the subway, the only travel my wallet approved. Wrestling with the Metrocard machine – a relic from the past – in my Steve Madden heels, which were no match for the Spartan obstacle course just to get to the Uptown 2 train. Trust me, these heels were more ‘red carpet’ than ‘rush hour’.
On the train, packed like sardines at a Jay-Z gig, I missed my slingbacks, now hostages in Bethenny’s car. I doubted my ankles would survive the journey to the Bronx, and chivalry was as absent as my common sense in footwear.
Then, like a scene from a rom-com, Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome appeared, looking like a cool drink on a scorching day. Our eyes met, and suddenly, the pain in my feet seemed like a small price for this movie moment.
He flashed a grin that could light up Times Square and extended a hand. I played Cinderella, he played Prince Charming, and my Steve Madden played the glass slippers – sexy and aesthetically appealing.
“Stilettos are great, especially when paired with a comfy insole,” he said, with a smile that promised more than just foot relief.
And there, amidst the subway chaos, my diva moment led to a fairytale encounter. Who knew my dramatic exit would be a ticket to potentially meeting Mr. Right? Lesson learned: every high heel, like every cloud, should come with a silver (or comfy) lining.”
